Anxiety & Depression

Matt Varnish

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 19, 2023
Messages
441
Going through a real bad bout at the moment, longest it's ever lasted.
Getting about 2hrs sleep a night, stress is killing me.
Still having to go to work.
 
Going through a real bad bout at the moment, longest it's ever lasted.
Getting about 2hrs sleep a night, stress is killing me.
Still having to go to work.
Sorry to hear that I saw something the other day there’s a record number of people on anti depressants now in the UK, I think covid created a lot of problems in one way or another, I get fed up now and again but never depressed they say regular exercise helps.
 
Takes real strength to admit you are struggling even if it’s to strangers on the internet.

My girlfriend has battled it on and off for the last 7 years. All I can say is talking to a professional makes a huge difference if you feel ready to do it.
 
Takes real strength to admit you are struggling even if it’s to strangers on the internet.

My girlfriend has battled it on and off for the last 7 years. All I can say is talking to a professional makes a huge difference if you feel ready to do it.
I've done the whole course.
All that I told is to take drugs, drugs that turned me into a zombie that ruined my marriage, I don't want to go down that road again
 
I've done the whole course.
All that I told is to take drugs, drugs that turned me into a zombie that ruined my marriage, I don't want to go down that road again
If it was the drug Mirtazapine, I know exacty what you mean.

I was prescribed these, but now I refuse to take them. They're horrible.

Every day is a battle when you're depressed, and it's very tiring.

I find the best thing to do is find as much comfort as you can, and for me that is people - talking to them or being around them.
 
I've done the whole course.
All that I told is to take drugs, drugs that turned me into a zombie that ruined my marriage, I don't want to go down that road again

I can only say try simple lifestyle things that can help.

Get outside and walk or if you can exercise.

Do your best to limit things like alcohol and crappy food.

Try reading books rather than social media and switch off from the world a bit if you can for a while.

Find something that puts you in a group setting around other people ideally something you have an interest in.

But I must stress there are far more qualified people than me to help you if you reach out to them.
 
I'm very sorry to hear that.

I myself have struggled with anxiety and depression on and off for 23 years. I attempted suicide in 2017.

I'm not sure of your location but if you want to PM me. I will signpost you the best places to go.

It's a bloody difficult road back and I struggle daily but you will get there.

Football is my escapism.

I'm assuming you're up north. if so I would urge you to try Andys Man Club. It's a avenue for men to just go and talk to men and you don't need to talk you can listen to other men talking about their issues but it's also nice to know you're not alone.

In terms of doing the tablets I believe talking therapy helps a lot more. They are mood stabilisers whereas the therapy is a solution. For me I couldn't cope on them. Whilst it took away the lows it took away the highs so I could also never be happy. Being on them was the only time I couldn't cheer on us taking a lead.

Again feel free to reach out. After I attempted suicide and got back to myself I started a charity in the south of England because there was nothing like AMC and put myself through suicide prevention courses and mental health first aid course. I'm not always great not but I know where to go when I'm not. I will try and find the best places for you or just 'listen' and let you rant away.

We may have differences when it comes to football. But men and their mental health is the most important thing in my heart after what I went through.

My sister saved my life. We lived together for 5 years and we had a rule. Once the other is in their room you don't go in. The front room was fine to socialise. Having been 5 years of living together and she had never been in my room, 30 seconds after hanging myself she came in to ask if I wanted a cup of tea.

I don't believe in God. But someone stopped that from happening to me that night and I made it my mission to stop it from happening to as many more as I can.

Please do reach out. And be proud of yourself for that post. It's a big first step. Onwards and upwards from here.
 
A friend of mine goes to Andy's man club, they've got nothing but good things to say about it.
 
Also, IDFD, that was a pretty insightful read. Hope you're winning the fight.
I am. Still in therapy myself weekly. Now moved on to something called 'Wellness Therapy' someone i talk to every week and release everything to.

That release is what I believe helps everyone and I'm a big advocate of let's all talk.

Thank you for asking and Matt (and everyone else) I hope you realise there is a community here for you.

Let's not suffer in silence.
 
I am. Still in therapy myself weekly. Now moved on to something called 'Wellness Therapy' someone i talk to every week and release everything to.

That release is what I believe helps everyone and I'm a big advocate of let's all talk.

Thank you for asking and Matt (and everyone else) I hope you realise there is a community here for you.

Let's not suffer in silence.
You're exactly right, nobody should suffer in silence it's definitely the worst thing you can do.

I've found support through a church and a group of lads who go there, we meet up once a week and have a chat and a game of football.
 
The church is also another brilliant outlet.

They help provide locations for 'The Men's Shed' which is generally but not exclusively aimed at the older crowd. But they do activities like woodwork and work with the local communities giving people time to talk whilst doing something so it's not just about talking but giving a purpose to many that have retired.

I'm glad you've found your community and what works for you.
 
Thanks. Although the fight never seems over. I wonder will I ever get my full confidence back, and is life just going to be this constant fight for me now?

I know someone who was deeply depressed, and I'm talking the worst kind. The person would just stare into space for hours on end and that scares the life out of me. She did manage to overcome it to some point, but was never the same again.

And yeah, I really recommend the church.
 
It takes time and being open.

The less I've had to hide the more my confidence came back. Once I no longer had anything to conceal because I was at rock bottom and needed everyone there was no reason for me not to just be myself again.

Am I the person I was before? Probably not but am I the most open and honest version of myself and someone I'm happy with being? Yes. I truly believe it's improved me as a person. I didn't have the compassion before that I do now.

It is a difficult road back to finding yourself. But there is nothing stopping you getting there. We hinder ourselves in the battle because we try to conceal it. But once you realise you don't need to and once you speak out everyone has you, and wants to help so it becomes a lot easier.

At some point you will start to own it. Not it own you. And that's when your confidence will come back. And you will get there.
 
That all makes plenty of sense, I agree. I am actually doing better since stopping the medication and fighting it on my own. The openness is the key, I agree there too. For me it's been all about the church and people there, they're far better than any medication.
 
Best of luck Matt and to anyone suffering. I hope you find a salve for what ails you.

I second what's been said about therapy. Take your time to find someone who has both the right methodological approach and a personality you can connect with.
 
Yeah I really hope you can get through the tough times Matt. It’s hard when you’re going through such a difficult stage and it doesn’t seem like there is much hope but things do get better in time.

Had my own battle a few years back but with some therapy I managed to get a lot better. Still with me each day but I have learnt to lock it away in a little box but sometimes it can escape and cause a lot of bad thoughts!

Unfortunately I did the opposite of what you should do and I just shut down and stay silent when I’m in the bad times but would definitely encourage talking about it.

Great to hear @IDFD and @Jayc1860 you’re doing a lot better after your own battles. Hopefully this forum does give that little escapism even if we do have our little squabbles from time to time!
 
it's tough times. Everything seems to be turning to shit.

be well all :-)
 
Great to hear @IDFD and @Jayc1860 you’re doing a lot better after your own battles. Hopefully this forum does give that little escapism even if we do have our little squabbles from time to time!
It definitely helps some days.

Sorry to hear about your own struggles.... it seems this sort of stuff is a lot more common than I thought.
 
It definitely helps some days.

Sorry to hear about your own struggles.... it seems this sort of stuff is a lot more common than I thought.
Yeah I guess it’s talked about a bit more in modern times, where as years ago a lot of people just suffered in silence for fear of just being fobbed off.

I still wasn’t convinced I had my particular form of anxiety even after I was diagnosed with it! But the brain is a powerful thing, so I did start to believe it a bit more as time went on.
 
Thanks for all the replies peeps.
Just to reiterate.
I've been through all the therapy, the drugs turned me into a zombie, ruined my marriage.
The therapy didn't help, because mine has been diagnosed as PTSD, and there are parts of my military career I can't talk to anyone about, particularly civvie doctors, I've even been through Help for Heroes, and even they don't have the right clearance.

I'm not the only one, there are literally hundreds of us out there from the cold war period suffering in much the same way.
 
Yeah I guess it’s talked about a bit more in modern times, where as years ago a lot of people just suffered in silence for fear of just being fobbed off.

I still wasn’t convinced I had my particular form of anxiety even after I was diagnosed with it! But the brain is a powerful thing, so I did start to believe it a bit more as time went on.
Definitely. Even now mental health problems are not taken seriously enough and it really does cost people their lives.
 
Definitely. Even now mental health problems are not taken seriously enough and it really does cost people their lives.
I've failed three times to end it all
Twice my son found me and got me to hospital in time.
The third time the bus driver managed to stop
 
I've failed three times to end it all
Twice my son found me and got me to hospital in time.
The third time the bus driver managed to stop
Wow, man.

It's hard to know what to say to stuff like that.

I can only offer you a friendly understanding ear if you ever need it. We've already had a good chat via DM, just reach out if you need to.
 

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